


Happy Birthday, Dean Winchester

by MaggieMaybe160



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Beaches, Birthday, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean's Birthday, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Harry's Birthday, M/M, Sunsets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 05:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17522831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieMaybe160/pseuds/MaggieMaybe160
Summary: It's Dean's 40th Birthday! Cas takes him out to celebrate.





	Happy Birthday, Dean Winchester

 

“My name is Dean Winchester. I’m an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets,

long walks on the beach, and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone.”

 

“When’s the last time you watched a sunset without waiting for

something to go bump in the night?”

 

“And I'm not talking just a weekend in Vegas or sitting in some crap motel watching pay-per-porn.

No I'm talking about a beach, drinking cervezas, mingle with the local wildlife.

When's the last time either one of us was on a beach?”

 

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… I got laid.”

 

“Your old man’s dead. They’re all dead.”

 

* * *

 

Dean put the Impala in park and looked over at Cas, who sat shotgun. He gave the angel a questioning look. When Cas didn’t answer, Dean followed his gaze to the sunset they were watching. 

The sun was dipping down into the ocean. The beach in front of them was empty. The water was glittering with the dying light of the day, becoming purple and pink to match the sky. 

“Why are we here, Cas?” Dean asked as Cas turned around to fish in the backseat. 

“Happy Birthday, Dean,” Cas said, pulling two beers out of the small green cooler that was tucked behind Dean’s seat. Dean looked from Cas to the beers and back. He cracked a grin and took one. 

“Can’t a guy turn forty in peace?” Dean asked, taking the tops off of the two beer bottles and handing one back to Cas. He opened his car door and stepped out onto the pavement. He looked back at Cas through the windshield, silently telling his angel to follow him. 

Cas pushed open his door and followed Dean, climbing up and sitting comfortably on the hood of the Impala. The two men sat shoulder to shoulder but Dean didn’t move. He just squinted out over the sunset and took a sip of his beer. 

He dared to look over at Cas after a few moments. The angel’s blue eyes rested on the sea. They were sparkling like the water, the sun making them shine. The wind off of the ocean rustled his hair, making the ends fly about with the gusts. The lapels of his coat picked up gently. Dean took another sip of beer and looked back to the ocean. 

The two sat in silence. Dean hadn’t left the music on in the car, so all that could be heard was the crashing waves and the wind as it picked up. The smell of saltwater carried on the wind that moved around and through them. 

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean said, leaning back against the windshield. Cas looked back at him, his face serene. His dark hair was wild in the wind, continuously moving. His eyes were focused and happy. His lips… 

Dean wasn’t supposed to be looking at his lips. 

He looked away, past his angel to the pink and purple ocean. The sand was becoming darker as the sun fell asleep. It was a sight that Dean had never had the pleasure of knowing. He was glad he finally got so soak it up. 

“How’d you get Sam and Jack to let you keep me all to yourself for a date?” Dean asked with a small, teasing smile. 

“What? That’s not-” Cas was obviously flustered and it was cute. No. Not cute. It was whatever. Dean didn’t care. He cleared his throat. “I told them you needed this.”

Dean didn’t know what he meant. That he needed a vacation or that he needed to be alone with his angel as they watched a sunset that seemed to be just for them on this isolated beach? 

“The first one,” Cas answered gently. Dean blushed fiercely and looked at Cas. “Stop praying to me and I won’t be able to hear you,” his angel said quietly. 

“I-I wasn’t praying…” Now he was flustered. He took a sip of beer, trying to hide the intense red of his cheeks behind alcohol. Cas took a sip, backlit by the sun. The beer glowed in the glass and Dean couldn’t help but to watch his throat as he drank. He couldn’t help but to stare. 

The sun had dipped lower and the ocean looked dark now with a single streak of bright light splitting it. The clouds had darkened too. The sky behind it, already a blanket of night. The stars contended with the last of the sun, asking permission to shine. 

Cas slid off of the hood of the Impala and opened the door, shuffling around. Dean didn’t turn to look. He tried not to shiver with Cas’ body heat suddenly gone. 

His angel returned a moment later, holding a cupcake with a single candle stuck into it. Its small flame flickered and reflected in Cas’ eyes. He held it between his two palms as if it were precious and delicate. He didn’t sing, but he was humming the “happy birthday” song. 

“Cas,” Dean blushed. Cas shook his head, still humming. When he finished, he looked up to Dean, his blue eyes filled with delight. Dean leaned forward and blew out the candle, the single ribbon of smoke twirling in the air in between them. 

As the smoke swirled up, Dean stared through it at Cas. He leaned forward and kissed him, his heart beating loud enough that Cas could probably hear it. It didn’t matter because his angel kissed back, dropping the cupcake onto the hood of the car. 

Dean slid off of the Impala, pulling Cas against him and savoring the taste of him on his lips. He grinned, pausing the kiss. 

“Happy Birthday, Dean,” Cas whispered, kissing him again. 

Dean’s stomach filled with butterflies and then lurched.

 

Dean stumbles backward, his legs hitting the side of his beloved car. The rain pours down on Dean. He stares at the sea. In front of him is the vast ocean but the waves aren’t calm and the wind isn’t soft. The wind howls and the waves crash in high tide. 

“Cas.” The word is crippling in his mouth. His tears are mixed with the rain on his face. Today is his birthday, he just isn’t forty anymore. He’s forty five and Cas is gone. 

Five years ago Cas had brought Dean here and five years ago they had kissed. Now, Dean is alone. The cupcake Cas had dropped had long since been cleaned up. This is the first time Dean acknowledged his birthday since his angel had died. 

Dean walks into the forest at the edge of the parking area. He has to fight to walk in a straight line, the wind strong and cruel. He’s holding a single cupcake. 

Beside a patch of scorched Earth, Dean kneels. Flowers have bloomed and grass has popped up over the few years, obscuring was was once a powerful image: dark wings burned black into the ground. His angel had died here. 

Dean is kneeling before the wings. The palm of his left hand is burned with a single feather. He looks at it, the rain hitting it and making it shine. He closes his fist again. 

“I never had the chance…” He gulps. The wind is drowning out his words. “You died when I brought you here on my forty first birthday!” He shouts. “You died when I told you I loved you!” He screams to be heard by no one. His heart is breaking all over again. “I love you!” The words are torn from his throat. 

He allows himself to sob, doubled over before the wings of his angel. The image of Cas’ blue eyes, staring up at him is seared into his brain. 

“Happy birthday,” Dean whispers to himself. He puts the cupcake down, the rain ruining the frosting. His phone rings. 

Dean picks up but doesn’t say anything. His brother asks him where he is and he closes his eyes, suddenly very tired. 

“California,” he says quietly. 

“Oh, Dean. I’m sorry.” Sam says something else but Dean is too tired to listen. He closes his eyes. He can see Cas, his wings projected onto the sigiled barn wall behind him, glorious and young. 

“Dean?” 

He lies down where Cas had been. He stares up into the Heavens knowing that in his afterlife, he will not be reunited with his love. He will be alone in a loop of memories, handpicked by other angels, to keep him contented. 

“I should have said yes,” Dean says, his voice raw. 

“Yes to what?” Sam asks.

“I should have said yes to Michael so I could be with Cas.” Sam is arguing about how that wasn’t going to fix anything. What was he talking about anyway? 

“Dean, it’s your birthday. Come back and we can celebrate.” 

Despite knowing that Sam couldn’t see him, Dean shakes his head. He is soaked through to the bone. He’s cold and miserable.  

“I killed him, Sam. Happy birthday to me,” Dean says and hangs up. 

_ No! _ Dean remembers screaming when Cas had died in his arms.  _ What have I done? No! Cas!  _

He closes his eyes and falls asleep, nightmares of loving and losing Cas awaiting in his dreams. On either side of him are the scorched wings of his angel. There is no mercy. He will wake up when the sun comes up and his brother will be there to drive him home. He will continue to fight monsters. He will continue to return to that spot, the spot where he had confessed his love and dropped to one knee. He will continue to grieve and pray to the one angel that can’t hear him anymore. 

Happy Birthday, Dean. 

 


End file.
